K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
