i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Alive.
So much puke
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
