I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
