Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
