i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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