Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
