butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
