Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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