i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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