I wanna bring you to show and tell
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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