I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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