Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I would fuck him just for his dog
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
