WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
