Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
