38 yer olds are good kisserssss
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
