dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
