sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
