Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
