i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
