so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
