My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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