Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
