I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
