Midget sex pt 2 tonight
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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