i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
