Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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