this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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