is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
