But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
