Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
