hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
