is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
