i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
