I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
3 2 1 whiskey
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
