i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
