I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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