operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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