She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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