just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
