thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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