S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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