Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
