I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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