Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
