doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
