i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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