I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
not ubering you a puppy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
