i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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