take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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