so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
