I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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